Getting married to an Italian - Part 1

Many girls dream of their partner buying an amazing, sparkling diamond ring, getting down on one knee and popping THE question. In many countries this is a common custom, in other countries - Italy for example - it is not so common. This post is for to all of you ladies out there with an Italian partner, but also it's for any Italian men out their reading who have a non-Italian partner!

Getting engaged to an Italian is not necessarily how you imagined your engagement/proposal would be. Italian's don't really get engaged, therefore they don't understand the whole engagement/fiance thing. Take bel fidanzato's brother for example. He and his now-wife were going out for 18 years, and still living with their respective parents before they tied the knot last year. He never got down on one knee with a ring and outright asked her to marry him. It was just assumed and accepted after a while. The engagement ring come out a few months before the wedding when we went to the comune for the promessa.


When you have a boyfriend who comes from one culture, and you want or expect a certain thing (i.e an official proposal) you sort of have to spell it out. Bel fidanzato and I began discussing marriage quite some time ago. As time went on we talked about it more freely. I explained to him that in Australia the man has to ask the woman to marry him. I told him that I wanted a diamond ring and that he didn't have to get down on one knee, but he did have to ask. For me it was important, it was an official sign that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

When we were recently back in Australia things got a little confusing as we had told my family to start saving money for our wedding (because it may very well be in Italy next year) and they got excited thinking we were engaged. I explained to them we were not engaged, but just to start saving the money anyway. After driving each other a little crazy, bel fidanzato and I decided that we should not talk about weddings anymore, as we weren't engaged! I had not been asked a question to which I could possibly answer yes, so enough was enough! All good in theory as I give good advice, but I rarely listen to myself.

So when we were un-engaged in Australia during the time when we did not talk about the big M, it was agreed that I was however allowed to try on engagement rings. One day I found the ring I wanted and that was that!

I am not a subtle person and made it more then clear that I had chosen my ring, and from that moment forth I would speak no more of the matter! We were down at the beach house with my aunt and grandparents and I knew bel fidanzato would end up buying the ring, and I knew he would ask me "officially" to marry him (as my family and friends had all explained the importance of the asking) but I didn't know when or how he would do it.......