Horrid hospitals

I had just written a long post about my horrific hospital stay but writing and thinking about the hospital made me angry so I cancelled it. Angry because I don't want to remember or think about the incompetent doctors and nurses. Let's just say that after 17 days in hospital I saw my new born daughter a total of 4 times. In order to see her I had to cry, yell and demand that someone call the maternal nurses and request they bring her down. Their excuse was always the same, they were too busy to bring her down. Too busy to let a person who almost died in a near fatal accident see her own flesh and blood. And they weren't busy since friends and family who were able to view bella bambina through the window reported that countless times they saw nurses sitting down watching tv. When they did bring her down the longest visit was 10 minutes the other visits a whole 2 minutes. I asked if I could feed her, no. I asked if she could stay longer, no. I asked basic information about her such as how much she weighed and they didn't know and never bothered to find out this information for me.

I am not saying that the entire public hospital in Cosenza is bad. I had already spent 10 days here when bel bambino was born. It wasn't the best start after they put my on a make shift bed in the gynaecology ward in a room with a pregnant girl who smoked copiously in the bathroom...but after 1 day I was transferred onto the maternity ward which was painted in eye pleasing pastel shades. I was not in the maternity ward this time, I was on the orthopaedic ward which is renowned as the worse ward in the hospital. Sponge baths for bed ridden patients don't exist. If you can't sit up to eat or drink then no one will help cut your food of pass you something. In this hospital (I cannot talk about other Italian hospitals) each patient is meant to have a relative who stays with them 24-7. The relative is meant to clean your body if you have the urge to be clean, the relative has to help you eat, open and close the windows for you, turn on or off your fan (since my room had no air conditioning and bel marito had to bring me a fan from home.) I learnt how to close my drip since no one comes and checks if your drip has finished, no one answers the bell when you call them numerous times. None of the nurses have the ability to clean you properly, none of the doctors answer your questions or can tell you when you are going home. Opps..I'm getting angry again so let's get back to bel bambino.

He was in the intensive care ward until Monday morning, a week after the accident. I had seen him 3 times in 4 days as the nurses there were more understanding and knew that I had to see him as much as he had to see me. He was out of danger and on Monday I said good bye to my 2 men. Bel bambino was being transferred to a hospital in Catanzaro. They were said to have excellent doctors who could asses his double fractured jaw. Bel marito told me that the public hospital was like a hotel. Bel marito had a bathroom in their room (my room had no bathroom) he had air conditioning (I had none) he was given a bed to sleep on and I think he was even fed! Bel bambino was constantly being checked, the nurses and doctors all bought him toys and clothes, even packets of nappies. It was very hard for me to be away from bel marito, bel bambino and bella bambina though. I spent the nights alone much to the anger of the nurses. If bel marito could not be with me then I didn't want his mother or someone else to stay. I wanted to be alone even if that annoyed the nurses since I had to call them to assist me.

The week passed slowly and on Friday bel marito and bel bambino came back to my hospital to have his leg checked out before going home. By now we had been in hospital for 12 days. The doctor checked his leg and then told us that bel bambino couldn't go home and was to be readmitted into hospital! The same doctor who had told us that after the Catanzaro hospital he could go home...The doctor who changes his mind every day. Thankfully, much to the distress of the nasty nurses on the orthopaedic ward, bel bambino was transferred into my room rather then taken to the paediatric ward. The nurses expressed their anger by offering us no assistance what so ever. Bel bambino was picking at  his scabs so I asked the nurses for a bandage or something to cover his thigh and they told us it was our responsibility as his parents to make him not pick his leg. Each time the nurses came in to give me an injection of a new drip he would cry. Naturally he was scared of strange people doing things to his mummy. When time came to change me they made bel marito leave the room. I asked them if bel marito could stay since bel bambino had become attached to his dad and cried when he was out of his sight but they forced him out of the room. Bel bambino was left crying and screaming on his bed all alone since my husband couldn't see me part naked according to them... (After this episode we argued and got him to stay in the room from then on.) Bel bambino never had his wounds treated, was rarely checked by the doctor, was never given attention or consideration. Nothing.

The anger is coming back so let me stop now, I won't pain you with the intimate details of my experience. At least now I am home, bed ridden with nuts and bolts everywhere...oh but that is just going to move me onto the next chapter! Public home help. Stay tuned.

I remember being awake on the Wednesday after the accident, so no fragments of Tuesday exist for me.     I had been put into an induced coma for the day. I had severely fractured both hips and my right femur. I had traumatic brain injury and fractured ribs, a hematoma in my right ear and a few other things. I didn't know any of this for a while. Maybe I'd been told and didn't understand, maybe I understood and forgot or maybe...I don't know. I don't know a lot.

I was in the intensive care unit and bel marito said when he saw me I was awake and I thought that he was a doctor. I don't remember. I wasn't allowed to see bella bambina because I was under intensive care and no one was allowed to enter except my husband. I wasn't allowed to see bel bambino but bel marito told me he was fine.

It wasn't until I was transferred out of intensive care on Thursday and transferred onto the orthopaedic ward that I was told a little of the truth. I started to cry when the truth came out. I thought that bel bambino was fine and over in the paediatric ward. This had kept me going throughout my days in intensive care, I was happy that he wasn't suffering like me. The truth when it came hit me hard. Bel bambino had not and still was not in the paediatric ward, he had been and still was in the room opposite mine in intensive care unit. He had been put into an induced coma from Monday evening until Thursday afternoon after suffering traumatic brain injury, a double fractured jaw, a broken femur amongst many other things. I couldn't stop the tears when I found out that he had been so close to me and no one had told me. Bel marito admitted that as difficult as it was, he had been sworn to secrecy. The doctor's needed me to be calm and thought it was best not to know how grave the situation was. Finally on Thursday afternoon when I was taken to the horrible orthopaedic ward they wheeled bel bambino into my room for a brief visit. He was so small and frail on the adult bed, he had a feeding tube in his nose, bandages on his arm, massive bolt thing on his leg and his face was covered in grazes. He smiled and cried when he saw me but was still under medication so didn't make any sound. At least I was able to hold his hand and sing him a song for the few minutes that he was with me. As hard as it was to see him so sick and injured at least I was able to see him alive.

Bel marito spent as much time as possible with bel bambino down in the intensive care ward but it was difficult as he was normally put to sleep. At night time bel marito returned to my room where he slept on the chair. Well sleep was near impossible for us both what with all that had happened. But you're probably wondering what happened to bella bambina during all of this? We are thankful everyday that I was not hit or didn't fall onto my stomach during the accident. Bella bambina was born at 8.30pm on Monday 20th August at 35 weeks weighing 2.2kg. She was not injured at all and obviously was put into an incubator under constant observation, but she was fine.

She was beautiful, or so I was told. You can imagine the anger I felt when I had visitors who had seen bella bambina (through the glass) when I had not yet seen my own baby. This will be the beginning of my story taking a turn to talk about the horrible hospital in which I spent a terrible 17 days.

The accident

My memories from the accident are scattered. I remember strange things that maybe didn't happen. I can't remember who went to hospital first but I know what happened after being told. Bel marito, upon seeing our son still and motionless called out to a friend and the tractor driver to rush him to the nearest hospital. There was no time to wait. He wasn't breathing.

These two men are our heroes. They literally saved bel bambino's life. While driving to the hospital which was about 15 minutes away blood started to form in bel bambino's little mouth. The tractor driver who normally faints at the sight of blood pulled out a hanky from his pocket and with care pulled globs of blood from his mouth, allowing him to breathe again.

They arrived at the hospital and jumped out of the car to be told that the emergency department was no longer operating and that they could do nothing to help the bel bambino. The tractor driver started yelling, telling them that he was going to die and they had to do something. They wouldn't. He called the emergency services who told him that they had sent a helicopter to Malito which had just landed and they would send it immediately to the hospital to collect bel bambino.

While this was happening I was lying on the road waiting for the ambulance to come. I didn't know bel bambino had been taken away. I remember, above all, the pain from my ribs. I was crying or screaming  and recall a man with glasses standing by me telling people not to touch me. This may be all in my imagination as I am sure this man was a doctor...but he wasn't from the village so perhaps he was just a passing driver trying to help or maybe he was never there and I imagined this doctor standing by me. I don't remember where bel marito was either although he was close by. The ambulance came and I went to the hospital all alone since here bel marito was not allowed into the ambulance. I learnt many days later that bel bambino had gone in the helicopter alone too since again no one is allowed to accompany the patient.

The ambulance was a rather quick, bumpy and painful journey. I remember they were trying to cut my bra and I got angry telling them just to take it off without cutting it which they easily did. The cut my dress but I didn't care. Bel marito was behind the ambulance with a friend and upon arriving learnt that the helicopter hadn't yet landed. Thankfully a good friend of mine had already made it to the hospital and she held my hand and came with me as I was raced up to the maternity emergency room. She knew the gynaecologist on duty so was granted permission to enter into the room with me. Thank god! The gynaecologist even spoke English and was asking me all sorts of questions but I couldn't answer. All I kept saying was that I felt an incredible pain in my ribs and side and all I wanted to do was sleep. Thankfully my friend knew everything about my current and previous pregnancy so she was able to promptly answer all the questions, while holding my hand and telling me not to fall asleep.

I was terribly confused when the doctor asked me to sign the paper work for an immediate C-section. I don't want to give birth now, I told him. I have a C-section booked for the 14th of September, I said. It had never occurred to me that I would give birth at that moment. I want to wait for the baby, I said. I want my husband, I cried. Bel marito shortly arrived since by this stage bel bambino had arrived and had been rushed into the intensive care unit. He kissed me, reassured me and told me that I had to have the C-section, that it would be ok. I signed the paperwork and the last memory I have is being alone with the doctors and nursing staff in the operating theatre and me asking for the doctor to please check my ribs and side which were painful. He was smiling kindly at me saying just to breathe and that soon I would be asleep.

Almost gone

It was a very hot Monday afternoon on the 20th of August. Bel marito, bel bambino and I were going for a stroll in Malito. I was 35 weeks pregnant with the bella bambina and we decided rather then taking the route home we would continue the walk a little longer. In Malito there is a section of the road which has road works. They have been there for years and the once two way road becomes one way for a little tiny fraction. It is common sense to be one way as you can see there is no way for two cars.

We were walking and when we reached the road works we stopped to wave to the passing tractor. Bel bambino loves tractors and we were happily waving away. From the other direction I saw the Range Rover. We knew the driver. He was old and should't have been driving. He could hardly walk let alone drive. I think I called out to bel marito...I woke up screaming on the floor with a motionless bel bambino beside me. We had been hit, not sure how high or far we flew but not only were we hit by a SUV, we were thrown back onto thick iron fencing and gravel.

Thankfully I don't remember much else. This is a long story which I will tell you a little each day. It is hard to write, not emotionally but physically. If you read Italian here is one of many newspaper articles which is not quite accurate but much more accurate then a lot I have read.

Bilingual babies

I can't exactly say that bel bambino is bilingual since he doesn't speak yet, but I hope and I think that he will. I read a little into raising bilingual children but basically we are just doing what comes naturally. I speak to bel bambino only in English and bel marito speaks to him only in Italian. When we are together I speak mostly to bel marito in Italian but if I have to address bel bambino it's always in English. If the 3 of us are having dinner then I often speak to both of them in English (since bel marito already spoke English long before he met me) and bel marito speaks to both of us in Italian.

Sound confusing? Most people here are very positive about me speaking English to bel bambino. I speak to him in English in front of other people and if I am not directing my comment at them then I don't bother to translate. My in-laws are used to me babbling away in English. Sometimes they will ask me what I am saying but most of the time they don't. They have even picked up a few words of English themselves and like saying "bye bye" and "good night" they understand and sometimes say "milk" and I am sure there are other phrases that I regularly use that they get the gist of.

We were out at the park today and bel bambino's little friend who is 2 was waiting for his turn on the slide. "Go go" he called out and I started to laugh since this is what I call out to bel bambino to get him to go down the slide and his little friend, without me knowing, has learnt and now repeats this phrase! It was priceless to hear.

Some people are worried about us confusing bel bambino with our dual language system and I've only come across 1 person, a young person mind you who has told me that she thinks it is silly that I am teaching him English and that I should be teaching him the local dialect! I can't even speak dialect! But she's never left the village, never even taken her children to the beach which is only a 25 minute drive away so I don't pay much heed to her comments.

I have read that perhaps bel bambino will be a late speaker, only time will tell but we are in no rush. The important thing for us is that we know he understands both of us. When I say "where is your water?" bel bambino goes and gets his water. When bel marito says the same thing in Italian, he goes and gets his water. When we ask him in either language to play some music he goes and presses keys on his keyboard. So as far as we are concerned he is well on his way to becoming bilingual.

And he does speak. He says 3 words  (that we understand, the rest is non-stop baby babble which maybe are words that just aren't so clear yet.) Can you guess what they are? Ok, no guesses for the first word which was mamma, or ma ma ma as he calls me, slowly but surely I am often getting 2 syllable now. His second word was papa' which I think is normal since P is a little harder to pronounce then M. And his third word. It's banana! How funny. He actually says anana without the B but we assume this was his first word for 2 reasons. The first being that banana is the only word that we use which is the same in both our languages, and the second being that he is half monkey who eats bananas like you can't imagine. If I try to slip a banana into my bag and he sees it he screams ANANA and won't stop until you give it to him to eat!

Now we are waiting for the next word...in which language will it be. Logically I would say it will be milk or water but my money is on either button or shoe. Yes, odd but then again is there another baby out there who said banana as his first non-mamma and non-dadda/papa' word?

And then there were 4.

I'm still here...the new year has been a busy one already. Since last writing we have gone and come back from a summer holiday in Australia. Bel marito's permanent Australian visa has been accepted. Bel bambino turned one and finally got his first tooth. And me, well...let's just say the new year started with another bel bambino making his way into my tummy!

So yes, it's been a busy year so far. We are still here in Malito, in Italy and will be most probably until November. Baby is due in September so one we get its citizenship sorted off we will migrate to Australia. Until then I will try and write. I have so much so say but just no time. Everything is still driving me crazy, the weather, my job, to cost of petrol, the unpleasant hospital staff, the chaos and the way that things jus don't work here. So yes, ideas for many a post!

2011 has finished and now we have to wait and see what 2012 shall bring. A lot happened in 2011, there has never been another year with so much activity. It all began with the birth of bel bambino which sadly coincided with bel marito's father being ill. I found a job, left that job and then found another job. In the summer a horde of Australian's flew over to celebrate our wedding and bel bambino's baptism. I got sick. We made the decision to migrate to Australia, leaving Italy behind for the sake of bel bambino's future. A lot happened in a mere 365 days.

With the festive season behind we are now preparing for our holiday to Australia. My brother is getting married and we are going to celebrate bel bambino's 1st birthday there too.There is still no word on our visa application, but we were told to wait at least 2 months if not a little more before being contacted by a case worker so we are in no rush. We won't migrate until after the Italian summer anyway. After all that happened in 2011 we need an Australian summer holiday.