Horrid hospitals

I had just written a long post about my horrific hospital stay but writing and thinking about the hospital made me angry so I cancelled it. Angry because I don't want to remember or think about the incompetent doctors and nurses. Let's just say that after 17 days in hospital I saw my new born daughter a total of 4 times. In order to see her I had to cry, yell and demand that someone call the maternal nurses and request they bring her down. Their excuse was always the same, they were too busy to bring her down. Too busy to let a person who almost died in a near fatal accident see her own flesh and blood. And they weren't busy since friends and family who were able to view bella bambina through the window reported that countless times they saw nurses sitting down watching tv. When they did bring her down the longest visit was 10 minutes the other visits a whole 2 minutes. I asked if I could feed her, no. I asked if she could stay longer, no. I asked basic information about her such as how much she weighed and they didn't know and never bothered to find out this information for me.

I am not saying that the entire public hospital in Cosenza is bad. I had already spent 10 days here when bel bambino was born. It wasn't the best start after they put my on a make shift bed in the gynaecology ward in a room with a pregnant girl who smoked copiously in the bathroom...but after 1 day I was transferred onto the maternity ward which was painted in eye pleasing pastel shades. I was not in the maternity ward this time, I was on the orthopaedic ward which is renowned as the worse ward in the hospital. Sponge baths for bed ridden patients don't exist. If you can't sit up to eat or drink then no one will help cut your food of pass you something. In this hospital (I cannot talk about other Italian hospitals) each patient is meant to have a relative who stays with them 24-7. The relative is meant to clean your body if you have the urge to be clean, the relative has to help you eat, open and close the windows for you, turn on or off your fan (since my room had no air conditioning and bel marito had to bring me a fan from home.) I learnt how to close my drip since no one comes and checks if your drip has finished, no one answers the bell when you call them numerous times. None of the nurses have the ability to clean you properly, none of the doctors answer your questions or can tell you when you are going home. Opps..I'm getting angry again so let's get back to bel bambino.

He was in the intensive care ward until Monday morning, a week after the accident. I had seen him 3 times in 4 days as the nurses there were more understanding and knew that I had to see him as much as he had to see me. He was out of danger and on Monday I said good bye to my 2 men. Bel bambino was being transferred to a hospital in Catanzaro. They were said to have excellent doctors who could asses his double fractured jaw. Bel marito told me that the public hospital was like a hotel. Bel marito had a bathroom in their room (my room had no bathroom) he had air conditioning (I had none) he was given a bed to sleep on and I think he was even fed! Bel bambino was constantly being checked, the nurses and doctors all bought him toys and clothes, even packets of nappies. It was very hard for me to be away from bel marito, bel bambino and bella bambina though. I spent the nights alone much to the anger of the nurses. If bel marito could not be with me then I didn't want his mother or someone else to stay. I wanted to be alone even if that annoyed the nurses since I had to call them to assist me.

The week passed slowly and on Friday bel marito and bel bambino came back to my hospital to have his leg checked out before going home. By now we had been in hospital for 12 days. The doctor checked his leg and then told us that bel bambino couldn't go home and was to be readmitted into hospital! The same doctor who had told us that after the Catanzaro hospital he could go home...The doctor who changes his mind every day. Thankfully, much to the distress of the nasty nurses on the orthopaedic ward, bel bambino was transferred into my room rather then taken to the paediatric ward. The nurses expressed their anger by offering us no assistance what so ever. Bel bambino was picking at  his scabs so I asked the nurses for a bandage or something to cover his thigh and they told us it was our responsibility as his parents to make him not pick his leg. Each time the nurses came in to give me an injection of a new drip he would cry. Naturally he was scared of strange people doing things to his mummy. When time came to change me they made bel marito leave the room. I asked them if bel marito could stay since bel bambino had become attached to his dad and cried when he was out of his sight but they forced him out of the room. Bel bambino was left crying and screaming on his bed all alone since my husband couldn't see me part naked according to them... (After this episode we argued and got him to stay in the room from then on.) Bel bambino never had his wounds treated, was rarely checked by the doctor, was never given attention or consideration. Nothing.

The anger is coming back so let me stop now, I won't pain you with the intimate details of my experience. At least now I am home, bed ridden with nuts and bolts everywhere...oh but that is just going to move me onto the next chapter! Public home help. Stay tuned.

The accident

My memories from the accident are scattered. I remember strange things that maybe didn't happen. I can't remember who went to hospital first but I know what happened after being told. Bel marito, upon seeing our son still and motionless called out to a friend and the tractor driver to rush him to the nearest hospital. There was no time to wait. He wasn't breathing.

These two men are our heroes. They literally saved bel bambino's life. While driving to the hospital which was about 15 minutes away blood started to form in bel bambino's little mouth. The tractor driver who normally faints at the sight of blood pulled out a hanky from his pocket and with care pulled globs of blood from his mouth, allowing him to breathe again.

They arrived at the hospital and jumped out of the car to be told that the emergency department was no longer operating and that they could do nothing to help the bel bambino. The tractor driver started yelling, telling them that he was going to die and they had to do something. They wouldn't. He called the emergency services who told him that they had sent a helicopter to Malito which had just landed and they would send it immediately to the hospital to collect bel bambino.

While this was happening I was lying on the road waiting for the ambulance to come. I didn't know bel bambino had been taken away. I remember, above all, the pain from my ribs. I was crying or screaming  and recall a man with glasses standing by me telling people not to touch me. This may be all in my imagination as I am sure this man was a doctor...but he wasn't from the village so perhaps he was just a passing driver trying to help or maybe he was never there and I imagined this doctor standing by me. I don't remember where bel marito was either although he was close by. The ambulance came and I went to the hospital all alone since here bel marito was not allowed into the ambulance. I learnt many days later that bel bambino had gone in the helicopter alone too since again no one is allowed to accompany the patient.

The ambulance was a rather quick, bumpy and painful journey. I remember they were trying to cut my bra and I got angry telling them just to take it off without cutting it which they easily did. The cut my dress but I didn't care. Bel marito was behind the ambulance with a friend and upon arriving learnt that the helicopter hadn't yet landed. Thankfully a good friend of mine had already made it to the hospital and she held my hand and came with me as I was raced up to the maternity emergency room. She knew the gynaecologist on duty so was granted permission to enter into the room with me. Thank god! The gynaecologist even spoke English and was asking me all sorts of questions but I couldn't answer. All I kept saying was that I felt an incredible pain in my ribs and side and all I wanted to do was sleep. Thankfully my friend knew everything about my current and previous pregnancy so she was able to promptly answer all the questions, while holding my hand and telling me not to fall asleep.

I was terribly confused when the doctor asked me to sign the paper work for an immediate C-section. I don't want to give birth now, I told him. I have a C-section booked for the 14th of September, I said. It had never occurred to me that I would give birth at that moment. I want to wait for the baby, I said. I want my husband, I cried. Bel marito shortly arrived since by this stage bel bambino had arrived and had been rushed into the intensive care unit. He kissed me, reassured me and told me that I had to have the C-section, that it would be ok. I signed the paperwork and the last memory I have is being alone with the doctors and nursing staff in the operating theatre and me asking for the doctor to please check my ribs and side which were painful. He was smiling kindly at me saying just to breathe and that soon I would be asleep.

Almost gone

It was a very hot Monday afternoon on the 20th of August. Bel marito, bel bambino and I were going for a stroll in Malito. I was 35 weeks pregnant with the bella bambina and we decided rather then taking the route home we would continue the walk a little longer. In Malito there is a section of the road which has road works. They have been there for years and the once two way road becomes one way for a little tiny fraction. It is common sense to be one way as you can see there is no way for two cars.

We were walking and when we reached the road works we stopped to wave to the passing tractor. Bel bambino loves tractors and we were happily waving away. From the other direction I saw the Range Rover. We knew the driver. He was old and should't have been driving. He could hardly walk let alone drive. I think I called out to bel marito...I woke up screaming on the floor with a motionless bel bambino beside me. We had been hit, not sure how high or far we flew but not only were we hit by a SUV, we were thrown back onto thick iron fencing and gravel.

Thankfully I don't remember much else. This is a long story which I will tell you a little each day. It is hard to write, not emotionally but physically. If you read Italian here is one of many newspaper articles which is not quite accurate but much more accurate then a lot I have read.

The road to good-bye.

I moved to Italy in April 2006. It had been my dream, my obsession to live here. I had been living in London for 2 years, went back to Australia to give it a go and lasted 8 months. I went back to London and then finally my dream turned into reality as I made the move to Rome.

Why was I obsessed with Italy? I can't explain why I had to live in this country, I had this internal tug pulling me to the place. Many readers and fellow bloggers I think will understand. Maybe my subconscious knew that bel marito was waiting. I met him 6 months after moving here and we have been together ever since, now married with a beautiful bel bambino.

I experienced the best of Italy. I have travelled the country far and wide, big cities, small hidden villages, through the mountains and the sea and back. I have lived in Rome, wow, Rome the eternal city, to think that I lived there and properly lived there for a long time.

But that's just the problem. When you live in a place, and I mean really live in a place you see and experience it in a different way. Working for the British travel company I was ignorant. We got paid in sterling into my British bank account, our apartments in the centre of these cities, these towns were paid for. At the beginning I was never in need of a doctor or a hospital, I had never set foot into a public school, never worked with an Italian company, never knew that corruption, scandal and out right lies was the way of the Italian world.

Bel marito opened my eyes to a lot of things and when we met he was all in favour of moving to Australia. It was I who had the dream of Italy, I who wanted to live the Italian life, I who wanted to stay. So we stayed, we worked, we travelled, we got married, we had a baby and now I think of what he wanted all those years ago.

Ever since bel bambino came into my life it is hard to be positive here in Italy. I am happy, I really enjoy my new job but that's not enough. Bel marito has been out of work for sometime. His company had not paid him for months and months (which is not uncommon here) and when they finally, slowly started to pay, they closed down. They tried to move him to a different area with pay so poor and a job he hated that we both agreed he shouldn't go. Italians live a fearful life. Many here in the south have poorly paid jobs that they hate, but they are too scared to leave. They know that there is next to no work out there. Employers play on this fear and give low wages, make you work cash in hand, or give you pointless contracts. I don't like this at all. I come from a country where if you want to work you can work, where getting paid on time is not a bonus but the norm. At job interviews here they say 'and we pay on time too.' This should not be a selling point it should be the way!

Here in the south (I don't know about the north as I have only ever lived in the south) finding work depends on who you know. If you don't know anyone important or influential then your chances of finding a good job are scarce. Bel marito knows people but he doesn't want to rely on them to find him a job. What happens if they find him a job he hates? He will be obliged to stay there won't he? Rather he stays at home and looks after the bel bambino. He is the best husband and the best father in the world.

We can't go on like this. Alone, without a bel bambino if you're not sick and have an ok job then life can be great. It was for us before. But with a baby, with the need to go to the doctor and the hospital often,with a view towards the future....well....

When bel marito and I talked about our future we could never envision it. We started renovating the country house but our future plans were grey. You know when you can see your future clearly planned out, or at least what you think your future will be? Maybe you think 1, 2, 10 years ahead and imagine where you will be. We tried doing that, but over and over again bel marito used to say he could not see which way our future would go. We were trying to live the Italian life but the vision just wasn't clear.

After reading this and my last posts I think you know that our vision has cleared, it is no longer grey but a bright white of possibility. Yes, in answer to your questions we are hopefully going to go. Back to Australia. A country which can give bel bambino endless possibilities. And us too.

It is going to be a long and hard road to get there. We need to apply for a partner visa for bel marito to migrate. We need proof of our relationship, finances, life together and a lot of proof which I hope after digging around we have. We haven't applied yet as the application is big, we are still in the hunting and gathering stage. But at least the vision finally is clear.

I thought I would be sad at the prospect of leaving my beloved Italy but I'm not. I want to leave this country with beautiful memories and I fear that if I stay too much longer my memories will not be so sweet.

Back tracking tag

I was wondering how I would get back to the world of blogging. I've got so much to update that I'm not sure where to start. My family is almost all gone. One aunt remains and after that bel marito (gosh he's had a few name changes in this blog hasn't he. Bel ragazzo then bel fidanzato now bel marito which means beautiful husband.) bel bambino and I will be going home. Where are we, you ask. We are still in Malito, but when my parents, twin sister and nephews arrived a few weeks before the wedding we traded houses with my in-laws. The house was quickly turned into a kindergarten-hotel what with all the babies and craziness, and my in-laws were kind enough to go and live in our small, beautiful, up-a-really-steep-driveway-and-many-many-stairs apartment.

So before back tracking into my lovely but not at all calm wedding, the experience of having Malito invaded by about 20 Australians, holidaying out and about in Calabria etc...I will reply to a tag by Cherrye from My Bella Vita a fellow new mum and Calabrian expat. So let's look at some old posts.

Most beautiful post More of a beautiful memory than a beautiful post, but the night bel marito proposed to me

Most popular post Are Italian men hot or what? This post has had an insane number of hits, but as you can tell by the title it was bound to be popular.

Most controversial It caused a lot more controversy than I had expected, I actually I thought it would be a rather helpful post...The cost of having a baby in Italy was bound to be a touchy subject.

Most helpful I don't really view my blog as helpful. It is a way of keeping up to date with mostly my family back home, and also a way to vent off my anger and frustration, but this post about taxi prices in Rome was well received as helpful.

A post whose success surprised me Red Light Rome According to my stats this is the 3rd most popular post. I think people are looking for more information however and are probably disappointed that I don't have any juicy details about the prostitutes in Rome.

A post which didn't get the attention it deserved I can't think of anything.

Post I am most proud of Our baby boy I guess it's not so much the post which I am proud of, but by the person the post is written about! I can't believe that almost 6 months have passed since the day bel bambino was born.

My first year in Rome

It was a hot and humid evening in late spring, 2006. It was May I think. I was new to the job, having lived in Italy, in Rome for just over a month. Home was a nondescript apartment paid for by work, in a mediocre suburb called Gianicolense. The area was nothing special, but it was just up the road from one of the most beautiful areas of Rome, Trastevere, the beautiful old Jewish quarter. The apartment was ok, nothing special, but  I was living my dream, I was living in Italy so would have settled for much less.

I lived with my English colleague on the second floor of an eighties apartment block. On this particular evening, I returned home late from work. There had been a  problem with a customer and since I was new to the job I was slow in resolving the issue. My feet were sore and tired after having traipsed around the Eternal City in high heels, so I decided to take the lift, something which I never do since I lived on the second floor and a bit of exercise is always good.

It was one of those small, claustrophobic, old lifts which fits a maximum of 3 people, 3 small waif like people that is. You have to close the door manually in order for the lift to work. I was a few seconds into my journey when the lift stopped. Not on my floor mind you, not on any floor. It just stopped in between floors. Ok, try not to panic, I thought. I rang my colleague who was at home and she rushed out to see the lift stuck between floors, and she could hear me in it. Go and get help! I yelled out to her. Ok! She called back rushing off to knock on some unknown neighbours doors. People living in massive apartment blocks don't normally know one another, they aren't normally trusting, so it took a while before someone opened the door. It took even longer for them to understand what was going on since my colleague spoke absolutely no Italian, a few words of Spanish at best.

I was starting to get nervous, images of me being stranded in the lift, dying of dehydration were starting to fill my over active mind. Stuck on the wall of the ancient lift was a phone number and thanking god that part of my job included a mobile phone, I called the number. A man answered and in very, very bad, almost non-existent Italian I tried my best to explain the situation. He had no idea what I was saying but was very nice trying to calm me down as I was rather hysterical by this stage. I hung up, having gotten no where with the phone call, and instead rang my twin in Australia to ask if I should save my water in case I was stuck in the lift for a long time, or drink the water and risk having to pee myself should I be stuck in the lift for a long time. Call waiting was beeping, so I had to go, having decided to have a few small sips of water at regular intervals. Beep, beep went my phone. It was the lift maintenance man who was trying to help me by telling me that he couldn't actually help me. I was calling the wrong number I eventually gathered and one of the only words I could understand was fuoco which he kept repeating.

My English colleague by this stage had found an obliging neighbour who understood her 5 words of Spanish and 1000 hand gestures. I yelled out to her that we had to call the fire brigade, I had no idea what the number was, or how to explain my situation. The obliging neighbour made the call, and I tried to calm myself with thoughts of a sexy Italian fireman coming to rescue me (I was single at this stage). It didn't work and by the time I heard the sirens wailing down the road I was a complete wreck, crying like a lunatic and talking to the kind maintenance man who kept calling me back to check my progress, even though we didn't understand a word that the other was saying.

It only took a moment for the fire men to rescue me, since the lift had only been stuck between the two floors. Slowly the door of the lift was wrenched open with some sort of equipment and I burst out, crying and hyperventilating into the arms of a startled, rather old and chubby fireman.

Welcome to Rome!

Back to work

Having a baby certainly keeps you busy, but having a baby and working keeps you extra busy. I'm just starting to realise this. When bel bambino was three weeks old, I decided to print off a few CVs and drive around Cosenza to leave them at some schools. I only ended up leaving my CV with two schools and I wasn't actually expecting or planning to start work, let alone a new job so soon but when it comes to me finding work in an area where the unemployment rate is ridiculously high, I seem to have luck always on my side.

The day after leaving my CV I got a call from one of the biggest private schools in Cosenza, and when bel bambino was 5 weeks old I started working again. It is very hard to leave him, especially since he is so small, he is now still only 10 weeks old, but having a family, having a little person dependent on you means that one has to make sacrifices, and it is a big sacrifice for me to go to work, leaving him to be looked after by different people, but in a place where work is hard to come by I would have been a fool to say no.

Bel fidanzato is a big help. I always knew he was special, but I am now just beginning to realise that he is quite a rarity in these parts. When I tell people that he changes nappies, when he's not working and I am he looks after the baby, he gets up in the nights for his share of the feeds, he cooks and cleans and does his share, ok well a little more then his share of everything. When I tell people this they always say, 'ah, well he's a foreigner it's normal,' when I tell them that no, he is actually Italian they get the shock of their lives!

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011

Wow, 2010 came and went so fast. For bel fidanzato and I it was a year of change. We began the year on holiday in Australia, anxious and curious about how the year would pan out. At the end of 2009 we had decided to turn our lives around. As hard as it was, we decided to say goodbye to our jet setting life of living in different, fantastic locations, moving around every season. We decided to "settle down," to relocate to Calabria, to bel fidanzato's home of Malito. We decided to plan our wedding, and try to have a bel bambino.

At the start of 2010 we said we would give our life in Calabria one year. We were realistic, we knew that trying to form a life here would be a slow journey, but we had time - and often it seemed luck on our side so thought we'd give it a go.

2010 didn't start slow for me. As luck would have it, I got a job interview the day after I returned to Italy, and a day after that I started working. A month of so later, I had my first experience in working in an Italian public middle school, and in the summer I had the opportunity to teach English in Scotland. A few months into the new year. we decided to try to have a baby, and that didn't prove to be difficult either! Soon after bel fidanzato found a job and we decided to spend most of our savings on buying a car and putting a new roof onto our future country home. Our wedding venue soon after was booked and wedding preparations were underway. Soon, most of my time started to be taken up with blood tests, hospital visits and the like. We managed to fit in small holidays to see friends in Sorrento and Taormina, to visit my aunt in Paris and go out and about in Calabria. I learnt how to knit, make recycled paper, and other crafty bits and bobs. My Italian didn't really get any better, but it didn't get any worse either. Our beautiful apartment started to fill with change tables, a cot and baby decorations.

And so without realising it, 2010 ended in a subdued manner, with me being 36 weeks pregnant and too tired to stay awake much past midnight. (Not only was it new years, but our 4 year anniversary.) We counted down a little out of whack, since the live coverage on RAI had the seconds counting down from 10 on the television which didn't correspond with the presenters count down (hey that's Italy!) we said farewell to 2010, to our baby-free life, wondering how the next year would be.

So, now we say hello to 2011. Soon - in a matter of weeks our bel bambino will be here, my parents too who are flying over to meet him. This year we will be married and my whole family will be flying over from Australia....so much going on, I can't wait!

A frozen birthday

Yesterday my twin and I turned 32. Whilst she was enjoying a glass a champagne in the 24 degree, Australian summer weather, I was freezing - literally - in the sub-zero temperatures of snow covered Malito.



I have never been so cold in my entire life, I couldn't get warm all day. It didn't help that we were without water - and still are. Bel fidanzato and I are the only people in the entire village without water. When we moved into our apartment, the comune had to give us an independent water supply by attaching some tubes to the internal water system and link it up to our house. We live quite high up in the village, by a church. To reach our apartment you have to walk up a rather steep incline. See that church in the centre of the photo? Well - we live right up there.

The tubes that bring water to our apartment are above the ground and therefore frozen. The tubes should be 40cm under ground so that they don't freeze, but they aren't and the comune has no money to pay for the work which will be quite a big job, given the location of our place, and the length of the tubes which loop all the way from ground level, up around the back of the church. So now, we just have to wait for the sun to shine, for the water to flow once more and in the mean time we will continue to live like those many years ago - collecting buckets full of snow to use as the toilet flush, and going to the fountains to fill our bottles of water (and going to the in-laws if we want to have a shower!)

It's nice sitting by the open fire whilst your partner cooks you a romantic dinner, but I must say that I prefer a summer birthday!

Fro big city to small town

There are many reasons why I like living in Italy and in particular why I like living in a small village of 800 or so people. People thought we were mad when we announced that we wanted to relocate to Malito, which is a small village in the mountains about a 20 minute drive from the main city of Cosenza (Calabria.) Before that we had spent most of our time together as a couple living in Rome, some of that time together living in Sorrento and time apart living other parts of Italy (and the world.) People thought bel fidanzato had corrupted me, bribed me or kidnapped me, forcing me to come here. They were shocked when we told them it was actually the other way around - I was the one who first raised the idea of moving to Malito.

We knew we wanted to start trying for a family. We knew that Rome was a beautiful city to visit - but in our opinion not the most beautiful city to live. No, let me rephrase - Rome is a fantastic place to live if you are without responsibilities (like wanting to have a baby) if you have family already living there, and if you have a lot of money. You need good money to live in Rome, two people have to work and have a pretty good wage just to be able to pay the rent. Most people live in apartments and that was not something I wanted. Call me spoilt, but I was raised in a house, with a backyard and this was what I wanted my future child to have. I could not bare the thought of trying to have a baby, all alone, in Rome whilst living in a tiny apartment in the middle of no where. I couldn't stand the idea of having to leave the baby with an unknown baby sitter if I wanted to return to work, and having an apartment so small that the babies cry would vibrate against the walls driving me mad. It was the thought of having a baby that made me decide to broach the subject on moving back to Calabria.

Moving down here has not been without it's problems. Moving to Malito meant making a lot of sacrifices too. Bel fidanzato and I have always worked, and had no problems finding work in Rome. We knew moving down here would mean joining a long line of unemployed people as it is hard to find work in the south. If you find work you get paid a lot less then in other parts of Italy and often finding work does not depend on your merits but who you know. Saying this we knew that the cost of living was a lot less, rather then spending 10 euro on a pizza, you spend on average 4 euro, a glass of wine at the bar will not set you back 5 euro, but about 2. We were lucky enough to have an apartment where we could live rent free and decided to give life in Calabria a go.

We have been here since January and are getting alone pretty well. We have work even if it is not ideal, we have an apartment even if our future home with it's giant backyard is still a few years off and we have back up plans if one day it does not work out. So for now we are not going anywhere at all!

The first of my 10 favourite things

I have been given an award:

Sarah Elizabeth from her self titled blog awarded me this. Hers is a blog I stumbled upon by chance, and I am glad I did as it has fast become one of my favourites. She like me is a foreigner living in Italy (she is Scottish) she too is engaged to a lovely Italian, she too is in the midst of planning her wedding,  she too is renovating an old house and she too teaches English. If I hadn't only recently stumbled across her blog I would say she was a stalker copying me or something!

The rules of this award are:

Thanks the award giver (thanks Sarah Elizabeth!)

List 10 things that make you happy,

Pass this award onto 5 others.

I am going to pass this award onto: (please not the winners of my award you don't have to participate and pass it on etc...if you don't want to.)

1. Michelle from Bleeding Espresso as hers is the first blog I ever stumbled upon and got hooked too...and she too is a foreigner living in Calabria with her own bel fidanzato.

2. Cherrye from My Bella Vita who like Michelle is also a foreigner living in Calabria and married to her bel fidanzato.

3. Laura from Ciao Amalfi who is a foreigner living on the Amalfi coast, and also living with her bel fidanzato.

4. Scintilla from Bell'Avventura who is an Australian/Italian (like me) married to an Italian (almost like me) living between Luxembourg and Positano.

May I add that I have met all the above mentioned ladies!

5 Lulu from Calabrisella Mia whom I have not YET met, but hope to meet soon. She is a soon-to-be expat in Italy and her fathers village is just over the valley from Malito. I have a clear view of it from my balcony all the time! 

Ok, so now I have to write 10 things that make me happy, but like Sarah Elizabeth I am going to break this up into different posts as I have a lot to make me happy!

The first thing is:

My bel fidanzato

You can read about my move to Italy here which is a 5 part series! I mention how we met and all that...but I have to say the my lovely Giuseppe is the most wonderful person in the world and I am so happy that we met, got on, got together and soon will get married.

Such stress over sugared almonds

Our wedding is one year, 2 months and 3 days away but I have already selected - and ordered - the material for the bonbonniere...not that I've told anyone here.


Bel fidanzato's mum and his sister-in-law told me that I was mad to start making my bonbonniere now. As I mentioned in a previous post, I need to buy sugared almonds to place inside (I need to put either 3 or 5 inside the little material sack for good luck.) I was thinking of using silver and ivory tulle/organza but changed my mind after bel fidanzato's sister-in-law started going on and on that silver is the colour for the 25th wedding anniversary - not the right colour for a wedding. God forbid should I use the wrong colour! Bel fidanzato's mother said I could do whatever I wanted, but...well actually sister-in-law had a point and silver is the wrong colour - but I could do anything that I wanted. No pressure there!

My bel fidanzato will tell you that I am testa dura or testarda (he tells me everyday.) I agree, I am very stubborn, and don't always like to take advice from others, or listen to others opinions. I will mostly always do what I want regardless of what someone else says. Yes - not the best way to be, but that's me and it's too late to change!! So, while sister-in-law and mother-in-law were going on and on about silver I strolled over to the glass cabinet where there is a hefty collection of bonbonniere.

Sister-in-law I said, your bonbonniere is gold. Is that not the colour of the 50th wedding anniversary? Sister-in-law came over to the glass cabinet, took her wedding bonbonniere and said no, it's a dark ivory, not a light gold...

I pulled out another beautiful bonbonniere which is a large, dark pink, organza flower. Is this a wedding bonbonniere? I asked? Si, yes, it's from XXX wedding last year mother-in-law said. But is pink not the colour for baby girls?

The colour of my bonbonniere was not the main issue however. The issue with me making my bonbonniere now is rather simple, but rather complicated (just like Italy!!!)

I cannot buy the sugared almonds now as they may go off. I pointed out that the family was still eating the sugared almonds left over from sister-in-laws wedding last August and they are fine. It was agreed that technically sugar almonds last a long time BUT (and this is when it really stops making sense) if I buy the sugared almonds now, then by the time the wedding arrives they will be one year old and then if someone wants to open the bonbonniere and eat the almonds a year after the wedding, then they may have gone off - and wouldn't that be brutta figura. So I cannot buy the almonds now, on the off chance that some random guests will want to eat the almonds a year after my wedding, thinking that the almonds are only 1 year old (so still good) when in fact they are 2 years old.


So, now you see why I have bought the materials for the bonbonniere and soon I will buy the almonds, and make all my sacks and then hide them and not tell anyone that I have made them!

Getting married to an Italian. Part 2

We were down at my grandparent's beach house in Rosebud. It was the 30th of December and bel fidanzato wanted to cook me a romantic dinner. This was nothing new as my bel fidanzato is a romantic guy who loves to cook...(yes, I know - lucky me!)

I was rummaging through the cupboard for some wine glasses when bel fidanzato appeared behind me. "What are you doing in the cupboard? Go outside and leave everything to me!" Again, nothing unusual as I am rather clumsy and have a habit of breaking glasses, plates, anything really. So outside I go (don't forget we were in Australia, so it was summer time when he sent me outside to wait.)

Finally I was allowed inside and the table was set with candles, flowers from the garden and our beautiful shell we had stolen from the beach the day before.(You cannot take shells or anything from Australian beaches, but this shell was the most beautiful, real shell we had ever seen, so somehow it made it's way into our bag.)

Bel fidanzato told me not to touch the the table decorations (yes, still clumsy) and we had a delightful dinner. After dinner  bel fidanzato asked me if I wanted to go and watch the sunset on the beach. We strolled to the beach and the tide was way out so far that you could walk out out out and the water remained ankle deep.

I ran off, jumping around searching for more shells to smuggle and hunting for star fish.






Bel fidanzato called over to me to come and have a look where he was standing. He said he had seen a shell just like ours, but was not sure where it was. I looked around in the shallow water and I cried out "look!!! Here it is." I was like a greedy child, over-excited by something so simple as I reached into the water to steal the shell.

I turned the shell over, and it was then that I saw a piece of tissue paper stuffed inside. I looked at bel fidanzato as I carefully pulled out the paper, and with teary eyes I unwrapped my engagement ring which he had hidden in our shell.

The moment passed in a blur, and later I had to ask bel fidanzato what language he had proposed in as honestly I could not remember! He had asked me in Italian, and to tell you the truth I don't know if I said yes or si! Which ever language I was speaking, the answer was the same.

Now remember back to when I was rummaging in the cupboard for a wine glass when I was sent outside. It wasn't because I was clumsy but because my ring was hidden in the wine cupboard and bel fidanzato was worried I would find it!

Remember when I was not allowed to touch the table decorations? Again - not 'cause I'm clumsy but because bel fidanzato had already hidden my ring in the shell, as he was maybe thinking of asking me over dinner!!!

So ladies and gentlemen, that is how one romantic Italian proposed to his Australian girlfriend. There will be many more installments of Getting Married to an Italian to come. We hope to marry next year but again that all depends as we have a house to renovate and....and lots of stuff to do.

Teaching in an Italian state school

I am working at a local state school as part of a government scheme (PON) teaching English to 23 x 11 year old students... It is certainly an...let's say it's an experience.

I have no experience of state schools in any country. In Australia I went to a private primary and secondary school - we had uniforms, rules....even nuns teaching us! School was quite strict; we got into trouble if we wore socks and not stockings in winter, if we got caught without our blazer on outside of the school then we would get in trouble, no more then one small pair of earrings, no coloured hair...no...no....no...

My first experience of public schools is therefore here in Italy, and what a place to start! 11 year old students are hard - they are not children so you cannot sing songs and read fairy tales. They are in that phase where boys are just starting to (sort of) like girls. They yell and shriek, run riot in the classroom, don't listen to a word the teacher says, make marks on the desks with their scissors, draw on each others faces with pen, throw anything and everything, insult one another - you name it, they do it (think of a tamer version of 'To Sir With Love.')

I remember walking into the classroom on the first day, having no idea what to expect. Ok, the classroom was ugly - but being a state school I sort of expected that as there is not so much money for pretty pictures on the wall. None of the students noticed me as I walked in...they were too busy screeching like banshees at the top of their lungs. I greeted the teacher and she started screaming for the children to sit down and shut up - I mean really screaming.

I was shocked - you don't scream at children...our teachers never screamed at us. But then again when they asked us to sit down we - well we sat down... Finally the students were sort of silent and my lesson with them began...

Getting married to an Italian - Part 1

Many girls dream of their partner buying an amazing, sparkling diamond ring, getting down on one knee and popping THE question. In many countries this is a common custom, in other countries - Italy for example - it is not so common. This post is for to all of you ladies out there with an Italian partner, but also it's for any Italian men out their reading who have a non-Italian partner!

Getting engaged to an Italian is not necessarily how you imagined your engagement/proposal would be. Italian's don't really get engaged, therefore they don't understand the whole engagement/fiance thing. Take bel fidanzato's brother for example. He and his now-wife were going out for 18 years, and still living with their respective parents before they tied the knot last year. He never got down on one knee with a ring and outright asked her to marry him. It was just assumed and accepted after a while. The engagement ring come out a few months before the wedding when we went to the comune for the promessa.


When you have a boyfriend who comes from one culture, and you want or expect a certain thing (i.e an official proposal) you sort of have to spell it out. Bel fidanzato and I began discussing marriage quite some time ago. As time went on we talked about it more freely. I explained to him that in Australia the man has to ask the woman to marry him. I told him that I wanted a diamond ring and that he didn't have to get down on one knee, but he did have to ask. For me it was important, it was an official sign that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

When we were recently back in Australia things got a little confusing as we had told my family to start saving money for our wedding (because it may very well be in Italy next year) and they got excited thinking we were engaged. I explained to them we were not engaged, but just to start saving the money anyway. After driving each other a little crazy, bel fidanzato and I decided that we should not talk about weddings anymore, as we weren't engaged! I had not been asked a question to which I could possibly answer yes, so enough was enough! All good in theory as I give good advice, but I rarely listen to myself.

So when we were un-engaged in Australia during the time when we did not talk about the big M, it was agreed that I was however allowed to try on engagement rings. One day I found the ring I wanted and that was that!

I am not a subtle person and made it more then clear that I had chosen my ring, and from that moment forth I would speak no more of the matter! We were down at the beach house with my aunt and grandparents and I knew bel fidanzato would end up buying the ring, and I knew he would ask me "officially" to marry him (as my family and friends had all explained the importance of the asking) but I didn't know when or how he would do it.......

La febbre

I have been unwell lately, struck down with the dreaded Italian febbre. It was my very first febbre - or fever as we say in English. La Febbre is taken very seriously in Italy. It seems that Italians are born with the ability to spot a fever, correctly measure ones temperature without a thermometer and they have many a local remedy to get you back on your feet. Listen carefully when you are out and about in Italy as you will always, ALWAYS hear someone talking about la febbre.

This fretful fever hit me when I least expected it. A few nights ago my right ear felt strange. I have sensitive inner ears and spring is in the air here. I was certain that I was coming down with an ear and throat infection - what with my sensitive sinuses mixed with hay fever, add some DIY (a.k.a dust everywhere)in the house, on top of the very hot, sunny day which saw me walking around town with (shock horror) just jeans and a t-shirt. Yep - I had my arms and chest bare! So, with all of these elements combined I woke up in a pool - a giant sea really - of sweat.

Bel fidanzato took my weak, fragile wrist as I lay in bed with a stabbing pain plunging in my ear and throat every time I swallowed. He whipped out the watch, was silent for one minute and gently giving me my wrist back, diagnosed me with la febbre. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, maybe you know - but I did not - a fast pulse rate is a sign of the fever. We never found out what my temperature was as we couldn't find a thermometer but that was neither here nor there.

You get special treatment when you have the fever! Everyone is worried about your well being. Bel fidanzato took such good care of me, even letting me have control of the remote control. His mother popped in to check on the dying daughter in law, and today - now that I am well enough to leave the house - I had many concerned Malitani asking me how I am.

If you are sick then Italy is definitely the place to be! I cannot wait to have a baby and be given special treatment for 9 whole months!

Summer comes to Calabria

The snow covered Malito that I wrote about a few weeks ago now seems but a distant memory. Today it felt like spring - dare I say almost summer here in Calabria! I was actually hot and had to take off my winter coat as the bel fidanzato and I strolled around the little village. Normally we are alone as we go for a passeggiata in the winter time, as most (sensible...lazy) people take the car, even when they are only going to the bar 10 metres down the road. Today however the village came to life as people who I have never seen in my life were saying 'salve' as we walked around! As you know we decided to move to Malito in the middle of a freezing, cold winter so I have not yet made acquaintances with all of the village folk. And my memory is so bad that I forget the people that I have met in the past, so I just smile, and say hello to everyone to be on the safe side!

Taking advantage of the beautiful weather, bel fidanzato and I went to visit our old country house with our engineering friend who is going to do a project/plan of the house. You may recall that the family has a few old, run down houses and we are going to do one up and live there.

At first we wanted to live in this gorgeous house, but it is nothing but the shell of a house and it would cost a fortune to get electricity etc...connected there.



After a lot of discussion, and going back and forth, we decided to do up the old school house, rather then the townhouses in the village. I will post some photos of the old townhouses as they (there are 2, 1 next door to the other) are absolutely beautiful albeit run down....but being in the centre of town there is no garden and I - being Australian - have grown up with a big garden and eating outside in the warm weather. So I wanted a garden. Bel fidanzato also likes the idea of lunches and dinners outside, of having lots of room to do as you like, and having almost total privacy. So, the school house it is!

This photo is the only one I can find on my laptop, and I will have to post better photos of the place, but we are very excited that soon we will have the plans and can look into starting work!



The work will be slow as the house is massive not to mention rundown. Fingers crossed we can start with a new roof in the summer and go from there.

I'll keep you posted and post better photos of our house to be!!!!!

Where in the world.....

Where in the world are we?

In April it will be my 4 year anniversary of living (mostly) in Italy. Before that I lived the majority of my life in Melbourne and a few years in London. I have lived in Portugal for 3 months and moved around Italy spending summers in Rome, Taormina and Sorrento. The bel ragazzo and I have seen many countries, worked in a few and have finally decided where we are going to live (or try to live anyway.)

We have moved to a beautiful, small town where the air is clean, the pace of life more relaxed, where there are next to no tourists. What? I hear you say. 'Next to no tourists?' As you know we work in the tourist industry so what are we doing in a non-touristy town?

Well....we have quit our jobs for a start! Good bye stupid tourists...there will be no more 'stupid tourist comments of the day!' The next time I go away I want to be the tourist!

We have moved to a town where no one speaks English, except the odd person who lived in Canada or America many years ago. No more going to an Italian restaurant and seeing pizza with ham and pineapple on the menu, no more!

After travelling for so many years it is time for us to settle in one place. We are sick and tired of living out of a suitcase and we have so many plans for the future that we are beginning to put those plans into action.

So where are we?

Come on, you can all guess!



We are in Malito, in Calabria, in bel ragazzo's lovely little hilltop town of 800 odd people. We have been back for three weeks and the gods are definitely on my side. I have already found a job, this week we are moving into our own apartment and other then that I have no complaints - well not really. Since I am moving into a small Calabrese village, there are certainly going to be issues, times when my patience is tested and where I feel I am going mad. I've only been here 3 weeks and have had some issues with water connection and the like...but hey - we're here, we're willing to give it a try and see how it goes.

So stay tuned for tales of my new life in a small, hilltop, Calabrese town living with my bel fidanzato (we are engaged now, so maybe I should change his name???)

Goodbye Australia

Time is ticking - bel ragazzo and I are only in Australia for a few more days before flying back to Italy. This will be my last post for a while, what with farewells, packing, more farewells, flying for a few days then eventually arriving back in a somewhat internetless Malito.

So you'll have to wait to find out where in the world we are going!

Here are some pictures of what we have been doing in Australia - allora -see you later for now, and I'll be back before you know it.


yes - this is my twin and I.


Our beautiful little nephew


St Kilda beach


The most beautiful Christmas baby!



A sort of hot Christmas day


The beach in Rosebud







oh and what's this???..... stay tuned!

An interview with me on ItalyMONDO!

Before leaving Sorrento, I was lucky enough to re-meet Laura from the blog Ciao Amalfi and an interesting guy called Peter Farina. Peter is an American who spends half his life in Italy and half in America. He runs a company called ItalyMONDO which can help you uncover your family’s unique story, discover relatives still living in Italy, complete the circle with Dual Italian Citizenship, or take the vacation of a lifetime – returning home with vivid memories of an unforgettable journey into your past.

ItalyMONDO has a blog section too, and I was lucky enough to be interviewed for their first Saturday Spotlight! Go over and check it out and see what else Peter has to say! It was such a pleasure to have a leisurely lunch with them, and I am sure bel ragazzo and I will cross their paths when our Australian holiday is over and we return to the bel paese.